Where to Begin
This is all of us when it comes to this topic…
Quickly!!!!!!! Name 10 three-letter body parts. Hint- as I tell my fifth graders, butt has four letters, zit is slang, and pit is not an official body part.
Have you finished? Have you tried? It usually takes a while; here are two hints for the stumpers:
(see the end of the post for the answers)
Once you have your list of words, say them. Shout them. Say them from top to bottom and from bottom to top. It's easy isn't it?
So now tell me, if it is so easy to say arm, or leg, why the difficulty with the word breast? Testicle? Vagina? Or the most challenging, most verboten of all, the P word- penis- Wow!!! That's tough to say!!
When I commenced my family life lessons, I always began with vocabulary. We played the 3 letter word game in small groups as a contest. Once we had a winner, I told the children that I would say one of the words and they would be required to shout the word back at me.
"Arm!!"
“Arm!!”
"Leg!!"
"Leg!!"
"Toe!!"
"Toe!!"
“Louder! Faster!”
Once we really got going, I would slip in a word like breast and the children would accidentally shout it back at me. This was invariably followed by squeals and shrieks as I pointed out that they had actually said the name of a sexual body part. We continued, and when I slipped in the word testicle almost all of the students would ask, "What's that?" (There was almost always at least one boy who would inform the class- "It's your balls!!").
I always knew who among the children had been using these words all of their lives and those who still relied on words like "wee wee" or privates, or perhaps just pointing. I never forgot one student whose mother was a doula. She was completely perplexed by the reaction of the other students. To quote Allie, “They’re only words!”.
Before you address this issue in your home, be cognizant of your own feelings.
Do you hesitate before you use any of the names of body parts in conversation? If the answer is yes, I implore you-
GET OVER IT!!
From the time your child is learning vocabulary, I implore you to use the correct words for several reasons.
Using appropriate “adult” language:
Promotes self-confidence.
Teaches children that they need not be embarrassed to ask health questions about their own bodies.
Encourages children to communicate with their parents in an open and honest manner.
Teaches children that there is nothing shameful about any part of their bodies.
But perhaps most important:
Who owns your body?
I ask this question all the time. By teaching a child the correct vocabulary for all of the body parts, you are reinforcing the concept of ownership of one's own body. The self confidence that a well informed and appropriately educated child projects could have huge implications for keeping a child safe from predators. As you teach your child the correct vocabulary, you are seizing the opportunity to explain inappropriate behavior of others toward children.
Finally, in the terrible event of inappropriate or even worse predatory behavior, a child who has been raised without fear and shame will be more likely to report their concerns to a parent of guardian.
Why slang?
I ask my students (without fear of judgement or repercussions), to tell me the slang words that they have heard. Fifth graders know them all: Tits, boobs, balls and a few that I will not bother to name. I ask them why they are able to use those words so easily, but cringe at the thought of the correct terms. The responses are varied but similar in nature:
They sound cool
They don't sound so scientific
They are not so embarrassing
Everyone says them
Childlike, they fail to realize that they are embarrassed to use the correct words because they have not used or heard them with any sort of regularity in their own homes and, therefore, they must carry a shameful connotation.
It is never too late.
So… you have not been using or teaching your child the correct vocabulary? Start now! It is not too late for you or your child to begin using correct, adult words. You will both be better off for it!
There are several themes in this post that cry out for further information. In future posts, we will continue our discussion of slang words and the surprising sexist implications of these words. We will also greatly expand on the concept of owning one’s own body: I call that post “Kid Power”.
For now, we will tackle “The Talk”. Tune in for some surprising advice!
How did you do with the puzzle?
Answers: Arm, leg, toe, ear, eye, lip, rib, hip, gum, jaw.